


Necrosis

by molewench



Series: Downright Weird Overwatch Porno-Comedies [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Badly Written Violence, F/F, Gen, Zombies, mei says fuck, more zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-10-11 16:23:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10469235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molewench/pseuds/molewench
Summary: i love how the presentation of all of my fics seems so dramatic and edgy but then u realize they're all just black comediesbasically a zombie apocalypse AU for overwatch. mei is our dark and gritty protag but oOoooo wat happen when she meets Mystuieruos Stragnner? Find out in the latest chapter of zooby apocapaps aeiou





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ill probably add more idiots to this as it goes on but im gonna take it slow

it was dawn when it happened. that day when a day seemed so much more. that day when a person was considered lucky to survive another. that in which every foundation crumbled, in which all lives were left barren and desolate. that day, when we became nothing in the face of ourselves. doomsday, or for those of you who are not so inclined as to get fancy with words, a zombie apocalypse.

a soccer mom by the name of mei-ling zhou had fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV again. however, a scream from beyond the house walls ripped even the reincarnation of rip van winkle herself out of her sleep. another succeeded by a loud bang drew her to the window as she dived out of her creaky bed. she looked down onto the street from the upstairs window. her breath caught in her throat when she saw what was causing the commotion. hundreds of warm bodies swarmed in the streets. some lay in pools of blood while others fled in terror from the ones chasing them down. some turned and shot the pursuers down. some fell under the ones chasing. corpses littered the streets. this kind of chaos was only known to her as "movie garbage". she couldn't even get some decent sleep without a world crisis occurring in her absence.

luckily, she'd always been prepared for surviving a life-or-death situation, even if this one might not be winter-related. mei pulled on her hooded jacket, her boots, and shot out the bedroom door, nearly falling down the stairs as she rushed down. a pistol in hand, snatched from the safety of the closet beneath the staircase, was held close as she cautiously made her way out the front door in case of an ambush. she stood, watching the gruesome spectacle from the safety of the walled porch. well, maybe 'safe' wasn't the right word as a gargling cry came from an undead creature shuffling up the porch steps. she quickly turned and aimed her gun. normally she would've shot it like any typical badass, but instead she hesitated. she had no clue how these zombies worked and what if it was just a sick person? she didn't know what to do, so she tried threatening it first.

"a-ass right there, freezehole!" she warned in the most confident and intimidating tone she could muster, with her high-pitched cute voice. she cursed herself internally, realizing she got it backwards. when the humanoid made a lunge for her, she shot. a bloody hand landed on her boot, and she screamed. she decided to examine it after it had fallen to the ground, and noted that it was, indeed, a classic zombie. loose entrails, horrible smell, emaciated appearance and all. come to think of it, that description fit junkrat pretty well. but mei had no time for being judgmental. she reluctantly shot the zombie in the head, seeing as how that was apparently the logical option. she lingered there, almost spacing out as she tried to take this all in. she was in the exact definition of a dark and gritty zombie apocalypse movie. or an overly edgy fanfiction, but that's just silly. mei scowled at the dead-again zombie before retreating back inside and locking all of the doors and windows.

"i better head to the roof." mei thought out loud, as going out into the street was suicide for the time being. an aerial view might also help her to better assess the situation. before doing so though, the phone rang. she furrowed her brow, even more confused than she already was. but what if her work had something to do with all this? she grabbed the phone. "hey there baby–" she heard junkrat's ear-bleeding australian accent seep through the receiver like thick oil. she cursed, and slammed the phone back down. she hurried back up the stairs, and forced the door open. she walked out onto the roof, seeing helicopters off in the distance as the brisk air blew into her face. she watched in horror as cars crashed into each other and citizens were torn apart by flesh-eating zombies. "what is going on??" she questioned.

her attention was caught by one particular car that was speeding down the road after it had cleared out. she wasn't entirely sure, but she guessed it was a prius. the car crashed into a street light, and a man got out of the vehicle. his head was bleeding and he stumbled before collapsing on the ground. "h-hey! are you ok?!" mei yelled out. she didn't want to leave him like that, but she had to figure out an alternative route to the ground. she inhaled, before running and jumping off of the roof down to a nearby building that was a couple feet lower. she rolled, sticking the landing. mei climbed down the fire escape on the side of the building, ending up on the cement-paved ground below. 

it seemed her luck wasn't meant to last, though. two blood-soaked zombies were behind her. she screamed before she spun around and reactively unloaded a couple of rounds into both. they fell onto the ground, hitting the cement with a hard sound. she remembered what she was supposed to be doing and ran to where she'd seen the man and the car. however, the man was nowhere to be seen. she scratched her head at this, as this meant he had abandoned his car. she saw the keys were still in the ignition, and shrugged before getting in the car. she didn't know where she was going to go or what she was going to do, but transportation was a good start.

mei was trying to turn the car back on, when she heard footsteps approaching and the click of a gun. "hey!" her heart stopped, and she slowly turned to see a slender, beautiful woman aiming a gun at her head. the woman had sickly or cold-looking bluish skin, and navy blue hair pulled back in a high ponytail. "get the fuck out of the car or i'll blow your brains out." she said in a thick french accent. "wait! we can go together!" mei pleaded. the blue woman scowled, before she pulled the front door open. she dragged mei out of the driver's seat, slamming her down on the ground. she stole mei's firearm off of her person while she was dazed. the woman swiftly got into the car, reversing it before driving off at full speed, leaving skid marks on the road.

mei tried to get back on her feet, and watched as that girl drove off with her only means of escape. for one of the few times in her life, mei felt insatiable rage and bloodlust. "bitch, i hope you burn in hell! that was my ticket out of here!" she screamed after the car. those harsh words alone were extremely cathartic for a total sweetheart like mei. this apocalypse thing was really bringing out her bad side. mei didn't have much time for an extremely forced light-hearted moment though, as a swarm of zombies were charging at her from the intersection. "oh fuck!" she yelled, before running away from them into a nearby apartment complex and motel. she climbed up onto the stairs, trying to kick the zombies below her with her foot. "help me!" she cried out. it seemed like this might be the end for her.

suddenly, mei heard the sound of a chainsaw rumbling. she looked up to see a busty blonde woman, dressed in white. is that... an angel? the mysterious stranger wielded a rusty chainsaw, and charged at the pack of zombies surrounding mei. she hacked through them, being splattered with blood and decaying entrails in the process. she continued to mow through the pack, until all of the zombies had been sliced into pieces. the pavement around her was littered with pungent corpses and coagulating pools of crimson. mei had never been more horrified, and yet relieved, in her life. the stranger paused, before walking up to her. 

"there's no need to be afraid, miss... i'm sorry you had to see me this way, but i'll revert to any means necessary if i can save another's life. allow me to introduce myself– my name is dr. angela ziegler, former head of medical research–" angela began, but mei interrupted her. "wait... are you just a researcher, like i am? that's so cool! and i can't begin to thank you enough for saving me. my name is mei-ling zhou, and i'm a scientist, more specifically a climatologist, who operates primarily in antarctica. today's a sunday, though." mei beamed at angela. even if for only a moment, she forgot about the strange situation she was in. "saving lives is what i do, though i have never had to do it through such violent means before." angela looked contemplative, almost regretful for a moment before looking back up. "if you'd like, you can accompany me on my journey."

"what journey?" mei tilted her head, confused. "i need to get out of here, as quickly as possible." angela stated rather bluntly. "i tried to escape earlier, but some blue... excuse my language, bitch threw me out of the car and drove off with it." wow, it felt good to be bad. mei felt a devious grin coming onto her face. she was one of those hardened, cynical movie guys she admired now. angela smiled at her, and took mei's hand. "if you're willing to listen, i'll tell you all about how i got here in the first place."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> purple lady returns. skeleton man says hi. something explodes

mei and mercy walked together down the blood-spattered road. "wait... you lost your job? why?" mei asked. "ah, yes. i think it's best if i don't talk about it any further." "ooh, sorry." "it's alright." "so what do we do now?" mercy stopped. she twirled a strand of her hair contemplatively. "in my opinion, the best thing to do would be to leave the city. we could try and make our way to the countryside?" mei gasped. "m-mercy! behind you!" mercy whirled around to see another swarm of zombies coming from the convenience store. she bashed one of the zombies upside the head with the chainsaw. "hurry, this way!" mei climbed up the alley fence next to them. mercy chopped through a few more zombies before hopping up and falling over onto the other side of the wall. "ouch!"

"are you ok?!" mei shouted at her as mercy jogged over to her. "i had to drop my chainsaw to jump. what disgusting creatures." mei stared at mercy, waiting for her to lead the way. "come, we need to find a ride." mercy and mei continued to roam through the city. they soon arrived at a transportation company, and entered the property. "this should be good!" mei said enthusiastically. mercy smiled at her. mercy walked up to an empty truck parked in the lot. "i was right. a truck's right here, waiting for us to hop in and drive away to freedom!" "finally, something good happens." mercy remarked. mercy stopped dead in her tracks when she felt the barrel of a gun poke into the back of her head. mei swiftly turned to see who was behind them, mercy following after. the personification of 2006 was aiming two shotguns at both of them. "talk if you're human." he spoke.

"now wait a minute. do we really look undead to you?" mei frowned and put her hands on her hips. at least if she was going to die, she would die sassy. mercy said nothing, fearing that mei was going to get them both killed. she noticed that the man had several bite marks on his arm, and that he looked a bit pale and sickly. well, he was dressed in a black trenchcoat which made it hard for her to see, but his sleeves were rolled up. zombies couldn't use guns or speak intelligible words, though. so, maybe he was just a really dedicated kabuki actor or a goth. mercy thought that was what the kids were into nowadays. she wouldn't dare to question him though, because he was the one with the shotguns. the man ignored mei. "you two are lucky. we're about to leave." "who is 'we?'" the usage of that word piqued mercy's interest. "widowmaker! it's clear!" he yelled to someone mei and mercy couldn't see, in a deep raspy, almost ghastly voice.

a blue-skinned tall woman strolled out from the corner and up to the other three, revealing herself. once mei got a closer look at her face, her perpetual smile faded. "widowmaker" was the same blue girl as the one who had stolen her car. her brow furrowed as she glared at widow, her fists clenched. "you meitherfucker..." mei growled. mercy and the mystery man waited to see who would strike first. widowmaker raised an eyebrow, before realizing who it was. "we meet again, velma from scooby doo." widow raised her fists. "that's it!" mei yelled, and made her move. she threw a left hook to widowmaker's face, causing her to stumble backward. she gripped her face in pain. "merde..." she muttered. mei took the opening to kick widowmaker in the shin. mei continued to slug widow in the face, the crimson red of blood a stark contrast to her lavender skin. she fell against the wall. mei finished her beating with a swift thrust of her foot, striking widowmaker's crotch. "kicked in the clit." the man smirked underneath his skeleton mask, pleased with the play on words he made. he and mercy were amused by what was going down.

"fuck, my virginga!" she cried out in pain. "please, stop fighting!" mercy pleaded. "this purple people eater stole my car! i almost got killed because of her!" mei yelled. "calm down, i was desperate. i'm sorry for taking the car." widowmaker replied in a suddenly cool, apathetic tone. "you idiots better calm down, before i leave all of you here." the man said. "ugh, fine." mei folded her arms, and spit on widowmaker. "so you know, my name is gabriel reyes. my friends call me reaper. did either of you two get bitten by those things?" he gestured towards mercy and mei. "no, i swear." mei said. he looked at mercy. "neither did i." "okay. so let's-" his sentence trailed off as his body tensed up. "i hear footsteps." mei, mercy, and widowmaker looked in the direction the sound was coming from. a pack of zombies swarmed from the street, running up the driveway. "damn it." reaper quickly climbed into the truck and started the engine. "get in the truck, i'll catch up with you in a moment." mei was going to get into the other passenger's seat, but stopped. "i'm not leaving you behind!" she said.

"who said anything about that?" mercy laughed. "what is she doing?" reaper glanced at her, concerned. she pulled out a handgrenade from her jacket, and took the pin out. she swiftly hurled the bomb towards the group, and it exploded on impact. the remains of their pestilent bodies flew everywhere in a bloody explosion. mercy had saved her new-found friends with one small bomb. "oh my gosh mercy, that was incredible!" mei gushed. mercy nodded at her, before getting on the back of the truck. widowmaker scrambled to her feet, equipping a sniper rifle and hopping on the back of the 18-wheeler with mercy. "man, she saved us. i owe her life." mei said. reaper's hands clutched tensely onto the steering wheel as they got onto the road. his amber eyes focused ahead. "shit, this street's full of them. lock the doors!" reaper ordered. mei reached to lock both doors.

reaper ran as many zombies as he could over with the truck. the wind whipped at mercy and widowmaker, who were riding on the back. widowmaker crouched, trying not to fall off or get grabbed by a zombie as she took aim with her rifle. mercy was attempting to maintain her balance. widowmaker shot at the fast ones who were chasing the car, not missing a single shot. "you're doing amazing! are you used to doing this!?" mercy yelled over the sound of the engine and zombie groans. widowmaker smirked, appreciating the compliment. "maybe now isn't the best time to ask me questions. i have to focus. but if you must know, i'm a war veteran. i have a... considerable amount of experience, to say the least." "oh right, okay!" mercy yelled back. "eat this, foolish americans!" widowmaker uttered, before shooting three more zombies in the head. their truck eventually made it to the backwoods surrounding the main city, away from the suburbs.

"this looks a bit like the national park area." mei commented. "yeah, could be." reaper replied absent-mindedly, still focused on driving. "well, it's a good thing that we're out of the city. but where are we going?" she asked. "i don't know much more than you would, but i heard about some evacuation points, one of them being in mount gibraltar. but we'd have to get there quick, because i assume there's going to be thousands of people trying to get saved." reaper said. he had taken his mind off the road for only a moment, but this was the worst possible time to do that. they were driving on a narrow cliff path, and one wrong turn would send them careening off. "watch out, man!" mei shrieked, as they turned the corner. a man holding his arms up trying to flag them down was standing a few feet from the car. reaper screamed, and so did the stranger, as reaper ran over him unable to stop the truck in time. the truck moved down the grass at full speed, and drove off the cliff. it fell several hundred feet before plummeting into the water below.

the truck sunk quickly into the water, but mei managed to open a door and swim out. reaper followed after her. they scrambled to reach the surface, and gasped for air. "jesus... we need to get out of here." reaper said. "wait, where's mercy and widowmaker?" reaper looked about, and saw no trace of them. "that's strange... they were riding on the back of the truck, weren't they? did they fall off or get grabbed? or did they jump as we drove off? we might not have heard them over the engine." "i don't know." "damn it! who the fuck was that guy i crushed with the truck?" mei and reaper looked up at the cliffside as a bunch of zombies groaned before sliding down from the top into the water. they began flailing wildly through the water towards mei and reaper. "SWIM!" reaper yelled as he and mei quickly began swimming away from them.


	3. funky dunks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reaper eats a kitkat

reaper and mei were soaking wet. they were standing near the shore path leading back up to the mountain road in about a foot of water. "go! run! get out of here!" reaper ordered her, prompting mei to sprint up the hill. reaper tried to hold the zombies off by shooting at them, before turning and plodding through the water after her. they eventually made it up to the cliffside, shooting a few zombies on the way. the two of them were panting and trying to catch their breath. they looked over their shoulders but the remaining zombies were too slow to catch up. "we... we made it. you saved us both back there. i can't believe you would completely screw us over and then manage to totally redeem yourself in such a short span of time." mei tried to wipe the sweat off of her forehead. "sure." reaper responded, rolling his eyes at her even though she couldn't see that through his mask. "geez, when am i going to get a cool moment and save someone?" mei thought out loud. "anyways, i think we should look for mercy and widowmaker. at some point they must've jumped off of the truck." "got it. we need to find another vehicle if we can, too."

mei put her hand up to her chin contemplatively. "i guess we should go back to where our truck drove off and check for them there?" "we can try it." reaper nodded. mei and reaper jogged until they found tire tracks and the corpse of the man they had run over. mei recoiled in disgust. reaper paused before searching the man's body. he found a kit-kat bar, a pistol, pocket money, a wedding ring, and a wallet. mei gave reaper a disapproving look as he flicked through the man's wallet. "well, he wasn't anyone important." "that doesn't change the fact we got someone killed! or should i say, YOU got someone killed!" "yeah but, he wasn't anyone we KNEW." reaper decided to take the man's clothes off. "what, are you a necrophile too?!" "maybe but– now hold on don't change the subject like that. we're going to need a clean change of clothing. have you forgotten that we don't have any supplies and we're stranded in the countryside now?" mei pouted and folded her arms. "just because it's the apocalypse... that gives you no right to disrespect a man you murdered like this!" "if you have a better idea, i'd like to see you try it!" he shouted at her. mei was about to reply when they heard a nearby bush rustle.

mei and reaper turned their attention to the sound, and they saw a blonde ponytail poking out of the shrubbery. "mercy? will the slim mercy please stand up?" mei questioned. the blonde hesitated before revealing herself. "yes mei, i'm still here! i jumped off the back of the truck with amelie before you two drove off into the water." she walked up to the ambiguously gay duo. she embraced mei, but she gave reaper the middle finger while doing so. he sighed and wondered if he was ever going to catch a break. "i'm so glad you're alright! what happened? where's widow?" mei asked. "ah, let me tell you what went down–"

~flashback time ooo~  
"i'm glad we made it out of there in one piece. it's all thanks to your incredible prowess as a sharpshooter." mercy complimented amelie. "pff! there is no need to flatter me." their banter was interrupted by reaper and mei screaming their lungs out in the front seat. "what?!" mercy shouted. a body rolled under the truck, and it was sent flying off the cliff. mercy and widowmaker dived off of the back, barely making it back onto the cliffside. widowmaker hit the ground with a sickly crack, and rolled away from the momentum. her sniper rifle went flying as it landed nearby. mercy was hanging onto the edge of the plateau, but managed to pull herself up. she gasped for air, turning to look down and trying to figure out what happened. apparently a man was trying to flag them down, and got ran over in the process. mercy shook her head at his corpse. another innocent life lost to this mess. 

mercy didn't know whether to run down to the water and try to save reaper and mei, or see if widowmaker was still alive. in the few hours that they had known each other, mei had become like a long-lost sister to her. but there was no way she would be able to get down there in time to save them. what was she going to do, anyway? turn into aquaman and lift the truck out of the water? so with a heavy sigh, she picked up the rifle and ran after widowmaker. widowmaker was sprawled on the ground, blood dripping from her forehead. oh jesus, this was not good. ok, maybe that was a bit of an understatement, but mei had already beaten her senseless. jumping from a moving truck and injuring her head on top of that wasn't helping. mercy hurriedly checked widowmaker's pulse. well, she was still alive. unconscious, but alive. mercy tore off part of her skirt to try and bandage widowmaker's wounds.

mercy soon realized that human blood would only attract more zombies to their location. aside from the nearby trees they were in a pretty open territory. mercy scoured the area before her eyes set on a large bush, and she dragged widowmaker by the ankle with her. at the very least, they would be able to hide in it. she decided that she would wait to see if mei and reaper were going to swim back. apparently mercy had good timing, as the sounds of gunshots reached her ears. she flinched from the sudden noise, and did her best to remain hidden. she felt a wave of relief wash over her when she saw mei and reaper coming up the hill.   
~end of flashback time ooo~  
"so widowmaker is in that bush over there?" reaper asked. "yes. what are we going to do for transportation now?" mercy was getting increasingly annoyed with him for destroying their only means of transportation, and it was starting to show through her tone of voice. "i mean we're still near the road that we drove off of, so a car might pass eventually. we need to find a shelter and/or supplies soon, because the sun's starting to set. widowmaker being as injured as she is also puts us in a difficult spot." mei and mercy looked at him disdainfully, still angry at him for screwing the three of them over. they didn't want to continue arguing with him, since they felt it was no use to dwell on mistakes. they were still going to make it painfully obvious that in their eyes, he dropped the ball. reaper put a hand to his face out of annoyance at the other two.

they didn't have much time to bitch at each other though, because the distant noise of a car engine reached their ears. "oh my god, a car! hey! HEY!" mei screeched, waving her arms at the driver like she was signaling a plane to land as the car came closer. reaper and mercy stood by the side of the road and watched as the car slowed down. before they could do anything, reaper walked up to the window and opened the door to the driver's seat. "hey–" the man driving the car was interrupted by reaper shooting him two times in the head. the driver slumped over onto the wheel, before falling out of the car onto the ground.

reaper glanced at him and took what he had off of his person, putting all of the salvaged items from the last two dead people except for one in the trunk. reaper walked back to the driver's seat and casually got into the car. he removed his mask and unwrapped the kitkat, taking a bite of it. he looked over at mei and mercy, who were speechless. "what? why are you guys looking at me like that? we have a car and a small amount of supplies now." he said with a mouth full of kitkat."i-" mercy began, but stopped. mercy went over to the bush and dragged widowmaker to the car. "mei, help me lift her into the trunk." "what?!" "i doubt i can fit her in the backseat. do you have a better idea?" "well... no." mei and mercy lifted widowmaker into the trunk, and slammed it shut. mercy rode in the passenger's seat next to reaper, and mei hopped into the backseat.

they didn't speak to each other for the rest of the trip. the sky turned a warm orange with streaks of purple as the sun began to set, before the moon eventually rose over the rural landscape. the sound of crickets was quietly trumped by the hum of the engine. it was oddly relaxing to not have to deal with zombies for the time being. they had been driving for a couple hours with seemingly no civilization in sight. reaper was about to fall asleep at the wheel when he caught sight of an exit to a gas station off in the distance. mercy had dozed off in the passenger's seat, and reaper glanced at the rear view mirror to see mei was sleeping as well. he didn't hear any french screaming yet, so he figured that widowmaker was still unconscious. or dead.

reaper was on yet another stretch of highway void of street lights or civilization, and only his headlights were lighting his way. even before the apocalypse happened, he had never felt comfortable in these rural areas. it was a great spot for crazy rednecks and human trafficking. that gas station was either a place to get mugged or... it was shelter for the night. the exit was coming up on the right and reaper feared driving into the darkness off the mild comfort of the highway. the exit took him into a long, pitch black stretch of more country road, as he passed forestry and abandoned farm houses. there was a good distance between the few collapsed houses he saw.

as he approached the gas station, it was pretty much what he expected. there was one yellow street light illuminating the parking lot next to it. he cautiously pulled into the lot, and took a closer look with his vehicle's headlights pointing at the run-down building. the posters on the outside were fairly recent, so it definitely wasn't abandoned before the apocalypse. he didn't see a vehicle or silhouettes anywhere, though there was a fluorescent light on inside the gas station. his curiosity got the best of him and he hesitated before pushing the car door open, shotguns in hand. he got out to take a look and the place was basically deserted. on the inside the gas station was curiously untouched and there was plenty of canned food that could keep for years. he opened a door that led to the basement, flicking the light on to see a mattress, dirty piles of clothing, and a t.v down in the room. again, he didn't see anyone around. 

he moved to the counter, finding a handgun behind it and some belongings. the place seemed safe enough to stay for the night, so he walked back outside to the car. he filled the car up with gas again and filled a gas can up as well, in case of an emergency. he gently pushed mei and mercy until they woke up and got out of the car. he opened the trunk up, and the dim street light shining shining onto widowmaker was enough to wake her up. "ugh... where are we?" "i found us a place to stay." widowmaker stumbled up out of the trunk, as the four of them entered the building.


	4. Chapter 420

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guy arrives to balance out the vagina party

the idiot brigade was crowded around the t.v, not to see the news as the t.v was incredibly old and the antenna was broken, but rather the four of them were watching a romantic film at three in the morning. with the looming zombie threat, they found it impossible to sleep. "man... this reminds me of my old friends." reaper mused. "do you mean jack, reinhardt, and the others?" widowmaker asked. "yeah." "i miss my old friends too. but i love you guys even if i've only known you since this morning." mei smiled. "thank you mei, that means a lot." mercy said. "if you don't mind me asking, reaper, what is your story? i'm a climatologist and mercy was a doctor before something happened at her workplace. i only know that you and widowmaker are friends." mei asked. reaper looked thoughtful for a bit, before he replied. "i was a soldier, later police officer, from los angeles. old soldier would describe some of my long-time companions from back then. there was jack, reinhardt, ana, to name a few. they were ungodly irritating, but i almost miss the old days. jack in particular made me want to choke a bitch. we were always fighting over who was more worthy of being commander, despite the fact it was obvious that it should've been me. jack being the manipulative bastard that he was though, he took the position from me. he wasn't all bad though. when he stopped having a huge stick up his ass, he could be surprisingly fun and pleasant to be around."

mei raised her eyebrows, intrigued by his story. "wow, you must miss jack then, huh?" "actually i was kind of glad that little fucker was gone." he responded. "what happened to them? and what about widowmaker?" mercy asked. "ah, you will see how his story and mine are connected." widowmaker interjected. "we got trapped in the police station with the zombies when the infection began. as far as i know, jack and reinhardt along with some others managed to escape with the police helicopters. i wasn't so lucky. i watched torbjorn get eaten as the three of us decided to distract the zombies to give the others enough time to escape." "i was that third person." widowmaker said. "we fought tooth and nail. there was no way we could kill all of them, and we did not want to face the same fate as our short friend. and so, we escaped out the back door. we found a clothing store and changed back into civilian clothing as our uniforms were drenched with sweat and blood." "oh, that explains the goofy outfits you two are in." mei commented. widowmaker and reaper glared at her. "anyway, our plan was to get to one of the evacuation points and try to meet up with our coworkers. we made it to the trucking company, before you two appeared. you know the rest." "i'm so sorry that happened to you two." mercy had a sympathetic look on her face and patted reaper's shoulder before pulling him and widowmaker in for a hug.

their heart-to-heart was interrupted by the sound of an engine. the four of them froze in place. "how many times are we going to get scared by car or zombie sounds, i mean really?" mei questioned. reaper put a finger up to his mouth, gesturing for the others to 'shh'. reaper peeked out of the blinds to see a vehicle off in the distance. "...who is that?" mercy asked, squeezing against him trying to get a look at it. "i think they'll just drive past." reaper said. widowmaker had fallen unconscious on the tile floor again due to her injuries. "oh come on widow, don't be a bitch." mei slapped widowmaker, trying to revive her. as it drove closer, they saw that it was a motorcycle. "what if it's a hot biker chick who's here to save us?" mercy's heart fluttered, still in the romance movie mindset. "or it's someone who's going to shoot all of us and take everything we have. but to each their own." reaper, mei, and mercy watched apprehensively as the bike came to a halt in the parking lot. "are they going to attempt stealing the car?" mercy asked. "no idea." reaper said.

a masculine-looking figure with a hooded jacket was illuminated by the flickering street light. there was a handgun holstered on his shoulder. his face was obscured by the motorcycle helmet. he got off of the motorcycle and strolled over to the car. locked. he gazed towards the sound of hushed whispering and a television emanating from the gas station building. "fuck, we forgot the t.v!" reaper hissed. mei and mercy scrambled away from the window and grabbed their weapons, aiming them at the door. reaper crouched by the corner, ready to pounce on the mystery man. as the man casually pushed the front door open, he was greeted with mei and mercy simultaneously yelling "FREEZE!" and three guns pointed to his face. "put your hands behind your head." reaper demanded. the man did as reaper asked, and reaper began searching his person.

while frisking the stranger, reaper basically emptied the contents of the man's pockets onto the floor. "ammunition, sake, family photo, bloodstained ribbon..." reaper narrated as he took each object out. "...rubber chicken?" he pulled a squishy orange chicken out of the stranger's pocket, and looked at the man, prompting a response. "i've never seen that before in my life." he said cheekily. "i'll be taking this as well." reaper took the handgun from the holster on the man's shoulder. "alright, now that you're effectively disarmed, you mind telling us who you are? why you're here?" reaper inquired. "i'm sure you know that there's a zombie apocalypse going on, correct? my name is hanzo shimada, and i'm a mercenary from hanamura. i only came here for supplies and shelter, but it seems you've beat me to it." "not another weeaboo." mercy commented. reaper paused. "...hanzo, huh? you might as well take that helmet off if you're staying here for the night." hanzo removed his helmet to reveal the face of a samurai jack ripoff. "ohh, it's a hot biker DUDE." mei said. mercy looked disappointed.

reaper felt his face flush red upon seeing hanzo's tired face. he was... handsome. reaper felt the cheesy 80s love music was going to start playing at this very moment. as soon as reaper had caught even a glimpse of the shorter man, he was completely and utterly enraptured. hanzo and reaper made eye contact with each other. hanzo tried his best to give reaper a friendly smile in the hopes he wouldn't get shot, though it looked incredibly forced. hanzo wasn't used to being or looking happy. there was an odd tension between them. hanzo tilted his head, waiting for reaper to say something. though, hanzo almost seemed aware of the power he held over reaper. "o-oh right! sorry, i got distracted. you're just, uh, really well dressed." reaper cursed himself for how stupid that sounded. "thanks." hanzo said. "why don't you come over and sit with us? we were going through the gas station's dvd collection because we couldn't sleep." "i'm fine with that, but why is there a... blue woman laying on the floor?" "oh, that's widowmaker. she passed out from her injuries and i don't know if she's still alive." mei said cheerily. 

mei and mercy cautiously put their weapons down, and watched as reaper and hanzo sat down. mercy swiftly pulled reaper close. "do you realize what you've done? we can't trust anyone, not even eachother. why would we let a man like that stay the night with us? he looks like a criminal." mercy hissed at him. "because he's cute." reaper muttered. "what?" "let's just give him a chance, alright? we outnumber him and he's disarmed. we need all the help we can get." "hey, i thought reaper was supposed to be the crazy paranoid one?" mei interjected. "none of us are 'crazy' and i will have you know that reaper is a kind man who doesn't deserve to be labeled in such a way!" "thanks for defending me, angela." hanzo gave the other three a confused look as they whispered angrily to each other. 

for the next few hours, hanzo, reaper, mei, mercy, and widowmaker sat on the floor, trying to find a movie that wasn't extremely stupid. eventually they gave up and decided to watch "you've got midget." they weren't very surprised to see that it was a porno. even if the movies were stupid, they were enjoying each other's company. compared to mei and mercy's chattiness, widow reaper and hanzo were basically silent. widowmaker was a bit disgruntled that she slept through nearly every important event in their lives so far. reaper and hanzo had gradually inched closer to eachother before they were squished together. they weren't exactly snuggling, but the gas station was icy so keeping eachother warm was a good idea.

"i bet this is actually turning you on, isn't it?" widowmaker teased mercy. "what?! i don't have a fetish for dwarves! i prefer gnomes." reaper had zoned out so the girls' roughhousing didn't affect him much. he eventually found himself placing his hand on hanzo's leg as he used the other hand to pull the blanket tighter around them. hanzo quizzically raised an eyebrow at reaper, but didn't do anything to stop him. mercy yawned, and stood up. "well, this was a lot of fun but the girls and i are quite tired out." mei looked confused upon hearing mercy's statement as she was still feeling energetic. "we'll see you two tomorrow. good night!" she smiled at the two men. "oh, night." reaper said rather absent-mindedly. mei soon realized the tension between hanzo and reaper and decided that giving them some alone time was a good idea. it was a win-win situation– reaper gets laid, or he gets killed. mercy scooped widowmaker up in her arms and bridal carried her down to the basement. mei followed after them, shutting the door behind her.

"i'm getting pretty tired myself. are you ready to go to bed?" reaper asked hanzo. "sure." he responded. reaper took the remote and turned the t.v off, laying down next to hanzo. "are you ok if we sleep together? i can go and sleep with the girls downstairs." hanzo hesitated. "...it's fine, i assure you. you have my thanks for taking me in as one of your own, i wouldn't try to push you away." "oh, that's nice of you. widowmaker is the only one who i've known for years. mei and mercy are just two random girls i picked up on my way here." "i see." hanzo mumbled, before falling asleep next to reaper. reaper was finally able to take his mind off of angsting over self-doubt, survival, or whether he'd see his friends again, but he had a new problem. his mind was filled with thoughts about his new friend, hanzo, and he found himself staring at the ceiling contemplatively. for the short one-on-ones they were able to manage through the girls' arguing, reaper found hanzo to be a sort of kindred spirit. maybe it was because they were both murderers, but they seemed to have a lot in common personality-wise. aside from widowmaker it was rare for reaper to feel like that towards someone else. reaper's eyes flickered towards hanzo's creamy bare chest, before he mentally slapped himself for ogling his friend like that.

reaper wasn't entirely sure on where this was going, but he was going to take things slowly. he tried to remember the old motto that had gotten him through life before– "i don't need friends. they disappoint me." reaper decided he would stop thinking too hard about whether he was falling for hanzo or not, for his own sanity. he moved a little closer towards hanzo before forcing his eyes shut. eventually, reaper drifted off to sleep.

"unghh, reaper–" a raspy, croaky voice moaned his name. reaper was squeezing the man's rotting, infected breast. reaper wrapped his arm around the shorter male's neck and leaned in, sucking on his collarbone. reaper closed his eyes as his lips met the man's. reaper slid his tongue into the man's mouth, eliciting another soft moan from the other. "oh reaper, is this wrong?" "i don't care, baby. i can't escape the urges i have to perform necrophilic deviations like this anymore..." "please, reaper... fuck me..." the zombie whined, gripping reaper's muscular hips and bringing them down to grind against his own. the undead male's boner(haha because hes a skeleton) was already poking out of his boxers, and reaper grinned at him. "i'm going to fuck you until the whole neighborhood knows my name."

reaper woke up in a cold sweat. "aw dammit, i splurted my gurt again."

meanwhile, in the basement:

"god, my head feels awful." widowmaker groaned, sprawled out on the mattress. mei and mercy were sat on opposite sides of the mattress, looking down at her. mercy lovingly kissed the top of widowmaker's forehead. "i really hope you get better soon." mei knew this was partially her fault, and even if widow may have deserved it, she still felt bad. what if widowmaker was going to die? "i'm really sorry we got off on the wrong foot." she patted widowmaker's shoulder. "is there anything we can do?" mei asked. "well–another kiss might help." widowmaker gazed towards mercy with puppy-dog eyes. mercy raised an eyebrow at her, and looked at mei. mei shrugged. they both leaned down and smooched her again. 

widowmaker still looked drained from her injuries and the emotional stress, but her lips couldn't help but curl into a content smile. "thank you." mercy took the furry blanket and tucked widowmaker in. "we need to rest up as much as we can, especially you, widowmaker. i pray that you'll be alright." it seemed widowmaker had already passed out on them as she began to snore. mei and mercy rolled onto the mattress to sleep next to her. "angela... where are we headed? what are we going to do?" mei asked mercy, with a worried expression crossing her features. "i don't know. but we'll figure something out, i'm sure of it. we'll talk about it tomorrow, ok?" mercy playfully patted mei's forehead. "just know that i love you and our other friends a lot." mercy turned over and fell asleep, burying her face into the pillow. mei laid wide awake next to her new-found girlfriends, staring at the ceiling. she worried for the future, but mercy's kind words ensured that eventually, she was able to fall asleep too.


End file.
